How do you cook roadkill?

You don't Along the old US 1 and other places around the eastern USA were small places that sold beef and had the ability to cook harvested kill while you wait.

It's been a awful long time since Ive seen hide or hair of these tiny beef places. Ive just about exhausted all I can tell you first hand. What might be common 30 years ago does not make it so today.

 

I'm not sure if I want my steak tenderized with a Goodyear mallet lol

 

I like to throw fresh roadkill into the bushes and hide it. This way it ages the meat by the time i get back to it.
Recipe wise, for any quality roadkill, is pretty simple.
One red solo cup
One lighter/matchstick
Several branches 18 to 24 inches long
Gallon of water

Drag carcass to side of hwy as needed.
Dip red solo cup into fuel tank yo obtain accelerant.
Pour fuel on carcass until completely wetted.
Ignite.
When warmed to your taste, pour water over carcass to extinguish remaining flames.
Salt/pepper to taste.
Please leave uneaten portions for the next Hungry travelers.
Happy dinning.

 

If a animal kill was made it is usually off the corner of a cabover as they try that last jump to safety. They bounce off. Deliberate kills are taken hopefully clean with a steel bumper and they do not suffer. Otherwise with rubber and plastic ones, they bounce under, then off the engine block and through the front axle into that drive shaft for the blending. The wheels and trailer catch the rest. What you do at that point is find a rain storm or a creek with a rocky bottom and hop into it a mite. Then hose off the gore.

I hate to be graphic but there is a rule always protect your load and more importantly everyone around you. So, if a animal, wild or someone's pet is in the way... well....

 

I wrap mine in foil with some carrots and onions and lay it on the turbo for exactly 81 miles. Can't beat it.

 

On the catwalk

 

Exactly 81? Does that change if driving into the wind? How about driving north with a slight westernly breeze?

 

Fry turtle and gopher , bake possum and coon or place in crock , have venison ground no additives , wrapped 1 pound packages and frozen. Convert to chili , spaghetti , burger , by doing urself.